Don was among the first to call me for an interview after my deal with TSA in Memphis, and he was indeed the first interviewer who gave me a chance fully to explain myself on his show last October (I hadn’t slept for about a week, but I still think the interview is worth a listen, if you have an hour to spare). But Don isn’t just a spectator or commentator. He’s also a man of (direct) action who values and understands his essential rights and liberty. I don’t generally condone making plans and spending money to fly on passenger airlines under the current tyrannical regime – unless you’re willing to follow Don’s example and, if/when push comes to shove, leave your money on the table and walk away with your dignity intact. Well done, Don. We should all raise a glass at the TSA in honor of your sacrifice and testicular fortitude. -ed.
I was in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for work last Monday and scheduled to fly out to Atlanta that night with US Airways. Everything went fine, of course, until I got to the airport and encountered the security freaks at the TSA. Whenever I go through TSA security I always look for the line that doesn’t have the AIT scanner and I get in that line. This time, however, I was “randomly” selected out of that line and told to go through the AIT scanner. Of course I immediately opted out.
I was then told that I would have to have a pat-down to which I replied: “ok, but I don’t want you touching my genitals or my ass.” Not sure of what he just heard the TSA flunky asked me to repeat what I had just said to which I replied: “I don’t mind if you do a pat-down as long as you don’t touch the junk or the trunk.” Ok, I had been drinking.
Of course such irreverent talk to a federal divinity is not permitted in the land of the “free” so the circus began. Immediately a supervisor lap dog was summoned along with a super-duper supervisor lap dog and two of Sherwood Forest’s finest. The supervisor lap dog told me I wouldn’t be flying since I wouldn’t let them touch my beans and franks. Yet another TSA troglodyte took my driver’s license and boarding pass and began writing me up for after school detention as at least three other TSA trolls began rifling through my backpack and shaving kit looking for the meaning to their useless lives. I have to wonder why they were searching my personal affects if I wasn’t going to be allowed to fly. I guess I’m just not smart enough to understand the really important things in life.
After completing his report – a copy of which I was told I could not have so I have absolutely no idea what he wrote about me and the incident – the troglodyte scribe gave me my driver’s license back and eventually the other trolls finished sniffing and drooling over my panties and I was escorted out of the security screening area.
From that point I proceeded up to the US Airways desk where I explained the situation to the clerk in hopes of receiving a voucher or even being rescheduled on a flight the following day. After I laid it out to her she replied: “oh I know who you are Mr. Cooper. The TSA is on the ball and just phoned us about you.”
My first thought was: since when is US Airways on the federal payroll? She went on to spew every nauseas cliché in the book: the TSA is just doing their job; the TSA makes us safer; you have to sacrifice some freedom for increased security; most people don’t mind; barf, puke, gag, spit, hurl, yak. And that lady gets to breed.
I said I wanted to speak to a supervisor and eventually I did. Well, when I say a supervisor I mean a garden gnome. And although he didn’t spew clichés he did look at me with a dull, blank stare as if he had purposefully put his brain into hibernation until I finished talking. And when I did, he replied: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do.”
At that point I felt as if I had done everything reasonably possible to resolve my situation with no satisfaction. I had reached my limit of ignorance, incompetence, stupidity and arrogance. I honestly felt I had been backed into a corner and had only one way out: I went to have a drink.
In any case, I’m in the process of trying to find someone to take my case in suing the TSA for violation of my right not to be subjected to unreasonable search and seizure which is protected by the fourth amendment to the Constitution of the United States and paragraph VIII of the Pennsylvania state constitution. Ultimately I want to sue US Airways as well for the cost of my plane ticket, hotel, car rental and whiskey.
Even worse yet was, after getting to the hotel I got on Facebook to “blog” about my experience. The first response was from an old high school colleague who wrote: “Geez Don, what’s the big deal? I don’t mind getting violated a little to be sure I’m safe”.
High school was an awkward collection of events for me and I never really felt like I fit in with those people. I can even say that ever since then I’ve harbored a small desire to ultimately be accepted by those folks. My contemporaries; my childhood classmates. But now that weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I realize now why I didn’t fit in: they’re idiots.
And that’s why I drink!
Kudos to Don! Thank you for your flagrant disregard for “authority.” I doubt I’ll ever fly on USAir ever again. Those TSA collaborators can go to hell.
YOU POOR POOR THING—-GO GREYHOUND—YOU DOG
IMPORTANT FOR DON!
We had a person who successfully sued and won, in small claims court, their airline for refusing to refund their money. You need to get the refund processed through your credit card immediately, or file claim (assume you didn’t pay cash). Then, look up their carriage contract and need to do some legal digging to find out the refund policy. Since you were at your flight location and tried security before being denied, which is similar to the person who won their small claims case, you should have a decent case. Note the airline settled but the person is under a non-disclosure as part of the agreement.
Another person had their bank refuse to pay the airline. I suspect they used their debit card or used the debit card like a VISA. At any rate, PNC bank asked for backup and he explained that he was denied a refund while protecting his 4th amendment rights. He included a copy of the 4th amendment which he sent to PNC Bank. They honored his request and the airline was not paid.
Next time…. wear a Burka. They won’t lay a hand on you. Muslims don’t have
to accept being groped.
Love it! Don’t give me ideas. There’s always a good chance I’ll try it.
Wonder why you weren’t accepted in school, and now in life. Think about it
No, they just boot them off the plane for saying…”I have to go”…
I am sorry you had such an awful experience. What pricks beyond measure!!!! Your article was so fun to read because of your honesty and wit.. thanks for the heads up to society about mindlessness spreading throughout our airports .. and our own communities.
Reading this, it strikes me as doubly awful — first they informed you that you would not be allowed to fly, and then they rummaged through your personal belongings. If that’s not a clearcut violation of 4th amendment rights, I don’t know what is. At the moment they denied your access to the carrier, their authority to further detain you, take anything away from you, or search you or your belongings, ended. I couldn’t tell from your chronological account whether you’d handed over your license and boarding pass AS or AFTER the supervisor told you that you couldn’t fly, but if it was after, that’s ANOTHER count of infringement.
I hope you win your lawsuit against these people, the TSA, and the airline. Further, I hope you keep everyone updated. Part of what happens is that people settle, under a condition of silence (“we’ll pay, and even apologize, but you are not allowed to tell anyone what we say or how much we give you”). They’re receiving plenty of bad press, and the fury against these anti-American, un-Constitutional activities is rising steadily. Also, you should write to your legislators about what happened to you. They’re saying they can’t take action because they don’t see “the outrage.” Make yours visible to them.
Bullies depend upon the silence and complicity of their victims. Don’t give up your civil liberties — when you do, you give up mine, too.
He didn’t say how asshole he was before he came into the screening area did he? People like this thrive for affection like this. Lock your doors if you see him in you neighborhood.
Don, go read USAirways Contract of CArriage, clause 3.1 and then clause 8. You are totally entitled to your money back. 3.1.3, i think is the specific clause.
The terrorists have won; they have our government doing their dirty work for them.
Couldn’t have said it better John.
I wear a skirt whenever I fly in the event the TSA freaks want to pat me down. The skirt really puts them off.
However, I get the same crap from some family members that don’t get why I don’t want to be treated like a criminal every time I fly (which, for work, is almost weekly).
Just today I got the same thing from my brother-in-law. His resposne to reading my article was: what a sad commentary. What are you going to do? You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.
Then DON should wear a skirt
While reading this, I’m not sure which disgusted me more… the treatment by the TSA and the airlines or the fools that “don’t mind sacrificing a little personal liberty”. Tell you what – let’s be cautions in ALL aspects of life:
- Hey, before you volunteer at this school event, how about we run a complete background check including interviews of family and friends to make sure you’re not a pedophile?
- Hey, before you buy that new propane tank for your grill, we need the passwords to your social media accounts to make sure you’re not a domestic terrorist.
- Hey, before you fill up those gas cans for your lawnmower, we need to run you through security to make sure you’re not going to burn anything down.
Give me a break. Too many people have been living in a culture of fear for far too long. Grow a pair and stand up for your rights like Don did if you have to fly. Alternatively, take my approach and don’t fly at all.
/have no problem driving 1500 miles one-way with the family to avoid airlines.
//found it’s actually cheaper and more fun…
Good to know there are people like you out there. I was about to have a similar experience but the TSA supervisors good peoples skills combined with my absolute inability to miss my flight prevented an incident.
Unfortunately most peoples reactions is like your idiot high school acquaintance, especially among “small government” conservatives!
Your comment doesn’t even make sense…there’s nothing “small government” about what the TSA is doing.
No kidding. I don’t know where you got your info, Jay, but most of the protests are coming from conservatives of all creeds. I haven’t looked for any liberal protests, but maybe they’re out there… somewhere… maybe…
These illegal searches would stop tomorrow if Americans were all on the same page, joined in common unity, in pursuit of common goals and united against their common enemy, a rogue government that’s overstepped its authority. That’s the problem.
On any given day, if all passengers assembled in any major airport simply said to security goons ‘no, you can’t search or touch us without probable cause,’ it would become a media event, their actions would give courage to other Americans elsewhere and send a strong message to the TSA that the people have had enough.
So long as Americans capitulate to the demands of corporate terrorists such as the TSA and Homeland Security, these criminal enterprises hell bent on destroying what freedoms and liberties remain in this country will continue to undermine your quality of life.
Personally, I’ve stopped flying; I respect my family and myself too much to allow TSA thugs to put their hands on us, or be subjected to dangerous strip search x-rays. I really cannot understand how parents allow their own children to be touched inappropriately by strangers in these airports. What cowards, what unfit parents they are. They disgust me.
In closing, all this terrorist baloney was started over 9/11 – a terrorist act to be sure, however one perpetrated by the US government itself. If there were any reason not to allow the government to search you to prevent terrorism, there it is.
sc
The struggle against tyranny needs to continue, but until our so-called representatives in D.C. are similarly outraged by these gropes, pokes, fondles and radiation, things are unlikely to change. It’s hard for us to fight the TSA leviathan when its keepers know exactly what is going on and are happy with the outcome.
For us regular folk, our only recourse is to take this to the local level. Like the restaurant in Seattle in the news recently, we need to make it clear that TSA thugs and their cronies are not welcome. These collaborators need to be outed as the dogs they are. No real American would subject his or her fellow citizens to such treatment any more than he or she would personally stand for it.
Keep your eyes and ears open folks. When the opportunity arises, we need to make it clear that we won’t stand for sexual predators and child molesters in our presence. Give ‘em hell!